Our current reality: Stupid Futurism

For my upcycle project I am taking inspiration a leather helmet I found last December at an art market. The aesthetic is “Medieval Fantasy” along the lines of Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, or the countless other properties that incorporate knights and swords and dragons and the like. I will be using cardboard and zipties as my materials in place of leather and rivets. These materials will give the total aesthetic one of cheapness. Everyone knows cardboard is cheap/free, so regardless of the craftsmanship, the final product will look inexpensive and probably a bit silly, but will still look pretty cool and be well received by people who see it.

So, given that my current aesthetic is “Medieval”, “Fantasy”, and “Cheep but cool”; I guess the opposite aesthetic of that would be like “Futuristic”, “Reality” and “Expensive and makes you look like an idiot”.

Thankfully, we live in the future. So we have loads of products to choose from!

Humane/Rabbit AI pins:

Figure 1: Humane AI Pin

These “AI pins” were one of the first devices on the market trying to sell “Chat-GPT in a thing“. They were advertised as being “the next smartphone” but in reality they were basically worse in every way. But this isn’t a tech review, so lets just look at the aesthetics of the designs themselves. The Humane AI pin was a small rounded square with a black bar that contained its camera and projector. It was designed to be as minimalist as possible so as to “fit” with any wardrobe you wanted to magnet it on to. And visually, there’s not much else to say about it. It is literally just a small white/black rounded square that they wanted you to wear on your chest.

Figure 2: Rabbit R1

This one is at least is a little more visually interesting with its bright orange coloring, scroll wheel and rotating camera.  But again was considered a tech failure for only being able to do some of the things a smartphone could currently do, but slower and worse. Due to these shortcomings, pretty much nobody uses these devices, and if you are seen wearing one, people who know what they are will assume you are an edgy tech-dork and silently judge you.

AR goggles

Figure 3: Apple Vision Pro

Augmented Reality goggles are intended to blend the digital world and the virtual world together. Allowing a user to have programs float around them in 3D space instead of just on a computer screen. The latest in these crazes is the Apple Vision Pro. Costing several thousand dollars, and only allowing you to have 1 floating monitor mirroring your computer screen, these things are basically tech toys pretending to be productivity devices (like all Apple products). Aesthetically, they are sleek, rounded, glass/aluminum, with a touch of retro-futuristic design in the headband. However, the eye-pass through feature, which is intended to let other people know when the user can see out of the goggles, is very uncanny valley. Since the eyes being projected onto the outer screen are a digital/AI representation of what the googles think your eyes look like, they just seam “off”, especially if you look off to the side. It is hard to take anyone seriously if they are looking at you through a pair of digital googly eyes, and so I don’t think they will ever catch on as a “daily wearable” in the way that cellphone and smart watches have. Wearing one of these in public is basically asking to get bullied and/or mugged.

Tesla Cybertruck

Figure 4: Tesla Cybertruck

Nothing says dystopian future like the Cybertruck. This $100,000 triangle is trying to look straight out of the apocalyptic technological future of Blade Runner, But is one of the least reliable and least practical cars on the market today. Despite it being advertised as an “apocalypse proof” vehicle, it is extremely fragile, and notoriously unreliable. With a total of 6 recalls so far, and a footprint larger than standard parking lot sizes/garages, this truck is the best way to tell everyone who see’s you driving it that you drank the Elon cool-aid and probably support fascism in America. People will laugh at you and probably vandalize your car. Good luck trying to sell it.

References:

Figure 1: Humane AI Pin [https://www.gsmarena.com/humane_ai_pin_discontinued_hp_to_take_over_ip_and_patents_-news-66608.php] Figure 2: Rabbit R1 [https://www.designboom.com/technology/rabbit-r1-ai-app-device-teenage-engineering-ces-2024-01-11-2024/] Figure 3: Apple Vision Pro [https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.donanimhaber.com%2Fimages%2Fimages%2Fhaber%2F165272%2Fsrc_340x1912xapple-vision-pro-herkes-tarafindan-satin-alinamayacak.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=d014788909bfdd4524d2ae0aa69dafade782a2598317b49bf00ccf848233d649&ipo=images] Figure 3: Tesla Cybertruck [https://www.reddit.com/r/CyberStuck/comments/1i0rgrx/hello_from_la_not_near_any_of_the_fires/#lightbox]